First you don’t even know nor care what the hell Modula-2, FORTRAN, BASIC or COBOL is.

JAVA
After importing java.awt.right.foot.* and java.awt.gun.right.hand.*, and writing the classes and methods of those classes needed, you’ve forgotten what the hell you’re doing.

AWK
You shoot yourself in the foot in no time, but then you realized you used 100 guns, 230 bullets, and 23 feet… what a waste.

C++
You accidentally create a dozen clones of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, “That’s me, over there.”

HTML+CSS
You have everything you need, but the gun cannot shoot in a different div and your foot doesn’t fit in the same div with the gun. You remember some old html tricks and manage to do the shooting. After a while you realize that Errors found while checking this document as XHTML 1.0 Transitional!

PHP
You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun made with pieces from 300 other guns.

LISP
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds…

Pascal
The compiler won’t let you shoot yourself in the foot.

Assembly
You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot. After that’s done, you pull the trigger, the gun beeps several times, then crashes.

Python
You try to shoot yourself in the foot but you just keep hitting the whitespace between your toes.

ASP.NET
Find a gun, it falls apart. Put it back together, it falls apart again. You try using the .GUN Framework, it falls apart. You stab yourself in the foot instead.

Linux
Generous programmers from around the world all join forces to help you shoot yourself in the foot for free.

C
You shoot yourself in the foot.